For such a time as this...

"And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

... said Mordecai to Esther as he implored her to speak with her husband (the King) about the imminent destruction of her people (the Jews).

Esther, a marvelous story of God's providence ironically illustrated with no mention of God's name in the whole story.

Life can be that way quite often... through hindsight we look back and see the obvious patterns and circumstances which show the craftiness and creativity of God's work in life.

Even things which were painful where God seemed distant... it's all a part of His plan!

Granted we don't always get the opportunity to look back and see how situations have worked out for our good and His glory... but when God gives us a glimpse, it's a real gift!

In Korea I am still adjusting, but it's been an incredibly easy transition- by God's grace of course.

I took time to reflect yesterday as I was observing one of the classes I will be teaching (starting on Friday), and I realized just how many things I'm encountering here already that God has prepared me for.

Recognizing these little preparations is a huge encouragement- it comforts me to know whatever the future holds, God is in control...and He is the Master Storyteller.

What a beautiful thing.

For example, in the past year I have been learning how important it is to allow others to teach me. Even in situations where I feel like I can figure something out on my own, I have recognized the beauty of lettiing someone else step in and offer me assistance. This doesn't have to be a degrading thing...in fact, many times it brings more joy to the "teacher" than it does to me as the learner. When you allow someone to come in and use their gifts to show you something, it becomes a great encouragement to them! So the humility of letting peopel teach you- even simple things- can be a great sign of love.

In Korea it has been good to let people teach me things that I could have probably figured out on my own. The director I work for took me to the grocery store to buy food for the first time, I allowed someoen else to teach me to cook a little. While I could have surivived without this assistance, I believe it was best to allow it.

Also, while I was in New York I began to realize the need for community-oriented living, and what it looks like to be servant-hearted. This just comes down to being observant: does anyone need assistance? Is there something you can do for someone? How can I be selfless right now?

I spent the summer before I came to Korea at home in Minnesota with my family. In my alone time, God began to teach me the need to rest in Him. Trusting that He is in control, and that my entire being, identity, and existence depends on Him. Only in Christ can I find purpose, and it is in Christ that my purpose is most glorious.

As I get ready to teach on Friday, I am certainly nervous, but also comforted in the realization that my purpose is found in Christ. This frees me to teach with a focus on the kids and the school, rather than on what my teaching will say about who I am.

I also spent a lot of time with my family, saw some family dynamics that I wasn't privy to (since I hadn't lived at home for so long). I realized that authority and order are good things, but they can be manifested inappropriately because of sin. And I learned that there is need for grace, even when you think you've been treated unfairly when authority is manifested inappropriately.

Here in Korea, authority is HIGHLY emphasized. There is great need to listen to those older than you, and show great respect for their opinions and desires. Individualism exists, but the hierarchical structure takes precedence.

Finally, even in the "minute" things I have seen God's hand of preparation. While I was home for the summer, I had to sleep on an air mattress..not the most comfortable thing to sleep on for almost 3 months.

In Korea...the beds are really hard- not at all like the american super soft plushy beds. Traditionally, Koreans would sleep on a thin mat placed on the hard wood floor. Their beds manifest this style while attempting to look more like a bed.

Also, my room in MN seemed to be the "spider central" of the house. I would often go to sleep with the knowledge that there were many spiders making their webs above me as I dozed.

In Korea, due to the weather and location of my apartment, spiders find great joy in keeping me company.

Needless to say, these are all beautiful (and some comical) examples of God's Master work as an Author.

Prayer requests:

- I am beginning teaching tomorrow... it should be a fairly easy day, as the classes I am taking over have exams tomorrow. But pray that the transition for me goes well.

- After class tomorrow, the school actually goes on a 1 week vacation! (Great timing for me to arrive :) ) I have been asked by the director if I want to go camping with her church in the mountains... if that all pans out- pray that it would be a fruitful experience.

-Pray that my love for the Korean children I will be teaching would grow, manifesting patience and desire to teach well.

- Finally, but most importantly, pray that my peace and joy would grow in Christ, finding rest in God above all circumstances.

Thanks guys :)

Word of the Week

Word of the Week: Fasten, Fetter, Fix, Focus

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us looking to Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2

For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I shall raise him up at the last day.
John 6:40

And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whosoever believes in him may have eternal life.


The Israelites were weary and impatient. God had delivered them from Egyptian slavery, but this fate seemed far worse. The crowds echoed with complaints and groans of the people- "Why didn't we stay in Egypt? At least we were fed!" Miserable and hungry, the people forgot their God.
God sent venimous snakes among them, many were bitten and died. Dying from snake bites was deemed worse than hunger and disatisfaction with the food.
Realizing their sin, the Israelites begged Moses to pray for them- "Ask God to remove these creatures from our midst!"
The Lord answered Moses.
Moses was instructed to create a snake and fix it to a pole. All those bitten by the venimous beasts could look to the snake... and they would live.

Fast forward...

Jesus is explaining to Nicodemus (and others we presume) what it means to be born again. He claims to be the Son of Man, the Messiah, the only one who has been in the presence of God. And this Son of Man is the only one who has the right and authority to save the world from their condemnation.
Jesus explains, just as Moses lifted up the serpent (the serpent which cured all dying who looked to it) so must the Son of Man be lifted up that whoever looks to him, might not die, but live...everlasting life.


This is a beautiful analogy. Simple, yet multi-faceted.

When Moses lifted up the serpent the people needed only to gaze at the serpent to be healed. In the same way we need only look to Christ to be saved. The simplicity highlights the inability we have in our own salvation. The power lies not in ourselves...for we are only looking. The power is in the object we behold.

We are just to look to Christ...yet there is indication that "looking" isn't a mere acknowledgement of existence. John 3:15 uses the word "believes" instead of "looks" when connecting the Snake story in the OT with the Son of Man being lifted up.

John 6:40 links "looks" and believes" together... "whoever looks to the Son and believes in him shall have life..."

This "gazing to Christ" is more than a glance. In looking to Christ we don't merely glance and then look away. It is a CONSTANT fixation... an attentive focus. The power and glory all rests upon Christ. Looking to Christ constantly, we fasten ourselves to Him.

What does this look like?
All hope and trust are put in Christ...and this brings true rest.
After all, his yoke is easy and his burden is light.

Fettering ourselves to Christ, we become his bondservants. Fixed on him. Focused on Him. Fastened to Him.
And by this we endure... because it is through him that we persevere.
...looking to Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, we run the race before us with endurance.

It seems appropriate to leave off with this song verse:

Let thy goodness
like a fetter
bind my wandering heart
to Thee

You're Unique, Just like Everybody Else

I was reflecting today on some of my anxiety/nervousness about going to Korea.
One of the things which I seem to fear is that I might go to Korea and find that I'm not a very competent teacher...that it's not something I should invest my life into.
While I pondered over that possibility, and felt my anxiety increase, I suddenly heard the question "so what?... what if that does happen?"

My immediate response... "that couldn't happen!! What would that mean?!?! If I couldn't even teach a foreign class of students about English..."

It dawned on me that my anxiety stems from putting too much identity/purpose in the idea of teaching in Korea...rather than in Christ.

Purpose...popularized in contemporary christian communities by Rick Warren, famous for his "purpose driven life" books.
The drive for "purpose" is clear in Christian communities...as well as non-Christian communities. We, as people, want to believe that there is a reason for our existence...that our creation has a certain aim...this is an understandable and, I would argue, healthy inquiry.

We are created for a purpose, it's true. As Christians, we know this aim, as stated in the shorter catechism. What is the chief end of man?
- To glorify God and enjoy him forever.

Created to be children of God
Created to inherit all things in Christ
Created to worship
Created to spend eternity with Christ
Created to steward the earth
Created for community...

and so on.

These all lead back to the over-arching purpose- glorifying God.

And whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him...Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
Colossians 3:17, 23-24

God has created us for a glorious purpose- to participate in the story written by, and starring Himself.

But sometimes that doesn't seem to be enough...
As I contemplated my nerves about teaching... I realized that my fear of not being a good teacher is rooted is a sort of "twisting" of the search for purpose... a twisting evolved into a type of "identity dependence" (I will not be content if this "fill in blank" is not part of my life/who I am!)

From a young age we are taught that "we are all uniquely special" ...and that there are things we can do that no one else can!
Consider the song from Barney (yes I still remember this by heart) - "You are special you're the only one, you're the only one like you. There isn't another in the WHOLE wide world who can do the things you do!..."

Ingrained in me from childhood is the idea that I can be someone important, do anything I set my mind to...

There is a longing to be "set apart"...
but we are set apart...in Christ!

That isn't enough!
We want to be set apart in a specific individual way...where we can do something that few people (or no one else) can do!
But who's kingdom is that serving? God's? ...or mine?

I do not deny God's hand in allotting specific "talents" and gifts to people...Scripture makes clear that he does. However, these specific gifts are purposed to serve and edify ...not to puff up the individual by providing them with a "purpose" which wins the praise and affections of men (or self).

As children of God, God has bestowed on us a greater purpose that we could ever fathom... the purpose of being his children, glorifying Him.
This comes with an honor that is far beyond anything we can fathom...and it changes everything we do.

No longer do we need to struggle to find something which brings us recognition and serves our purpose...because we are participating in a story far greater than one we could ever concoct in our wildest imagination,.

Psalm 8
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

⁵ You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings ^c]">[c]
and crowned him with glory and honor.

⁶ You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:

⁷ all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,

⁸ the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.

⁹ O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

This all being said: I head off to Korea soon... with hopes that God will teach me...and I will teach. That I will have the chance to be challenged and to challenge. And wherever I am, however it goes, that I will learn to be content in all things and in all circumstances- through Christ.

Trust, Hope, Rest

"Your heart is given a rhythm only for Him.
You are given breath, only for Him.
He's not simply to have your best... he's to have it ALL.
We can light so many fires. We can do so many things in all our activity. But is God in it? IS it for Him? Is it a heart burning for Him? "
-Paul Washer

Prayer Requests...

I leave in one week for South Korea. Please keep these things in your prayers for me:

- To focus on Christ. I want the work I do in South Korea to be worth the time and money this school is putting forth for me to be their teacher. I am so glad it's a Christian school that I get to work in... and I want this work to be for Him.

"Incline my heart toward your testimonies, and not to selfish gain." Psalm 119:36

- That I would love the Koreans... of course I hope that I adjust well in the new culture and setting...but even more than that, I desire to love the people that God will put me in touch with.

This prayer request was pressed on me by something I read recently that a man wrote to his lady-friend who was joining his ministry in China... "Did you come to China because you loved the Chinese or because you were sure this was God's will for you? I know your answer- you came because you knew it was His will. Knowing this, you are confident that He will give you His love for the Chinese."

That echoes my desire.

- Last, but not least... that I would rest in God (my lesson for the summer). I am beginning to think that the word "rest" is somewhat interchangeable with "hope" and "trust." All three of these words entail focus on God...believing that He will carry out what He has promised his children, through Christ. I believe this is what Philippians 4 is referring to...as the "peace which surpasses all understanding and guards your hearts and mind in Christ" ...this restful focus on Him and His ways...even when they don't jive with your own. I'm sure there will be many times when my expectations aren't met (afterall, it's a new culture) ...but I hope that I am able to give over any anxieties and expectations to God...and rest in Christ.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests by known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Men should not fear failure. Men should fear success which merits no eternal value.

¹Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
²It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.


There can only be found joy, when you are resting in Christ.
Resting in Christ...means trusting God...
...not just trusting He's in charge (though it's certainly true!!)
...also trusting that His plan is Best...and Good.

I am finding it is easy to be busy...
easy to be involved in many things...ministry, giving to the community, serving,
it's easy to talk...
it's fairly easy in American culture to find ways to plug in and DO something.

What remains to be incredibly difficult.... is recognizing whether these things we do- even good things, even things which succeed- are delighted in for the glory of God's Kingdom...or for the glory of our own.

Whose kingdom are we building upon?

I dare not suggest that unless someone is doing something strictly "ministry" related...they are not serving God's kingdom. I am not saying that all Christians must rise up, sell all things they have and live in a slum somewhere to serve. That's not the point at all.
The point... is God's-Kingdom-Living.

What does this look like?

* Trust that His ways are best.
His ways are higher than ours, after all...and his thoughts...far exceed our own. (Isaiah 55)
There is REST in knowing He is in charge...because HE is a GOOD God.

* Obey Him.
Obedience is better than any burnt offering! And we cannot obey...without His grace.
There is rest in knowing He will work in us, so that we may participate in His Kingdom Story!

Whether serving in a slum in Africa... a single mother of 5... or a married couple going to school...

Whatever the case... God's Kingdom must be sought first.
it Must.
...and God's Kingdom must be sought, to the detriment of our own kingdoms.

Our debt has been paid! We cannot even make a dent to repay!
I like this analogy to explain the great gift God has given us in Christ, emphasizing our inability to make recompense:

Three people set out to swim across the Pacific Ocean. One is a gold medal-winning swimmer. The second is a high school swimming coach. The third is a paraplegic.
Who has the greatest chance of accomplishing this feat?
The answer...is none.
The paraplegic will last only a few seconds in the shallow end before perishing.
The swimming coach might make it a mile or more, if he's kept himself in shape.
And the olympian will astonish and awe all onlookers at how far he can go...
...but in the end all will perish.
Why?
because such a thing just isn't possible... the ability to complete this mission relies not on the comparison of the people with one another...but on whether they have the capacity to complete the mission, period!

In the same way... we do not have the capacity to love God...to serve God... or to seek His Kingdom on our own.

In fact, when we try to do "good" in our own strength, it shows itself to be a cause for our own Kingdom, and not for God's... and while it may show a seeming little success...in the end it is fatal by comparison.

Joy is only found in Resting in Christ.
And resting in Christ is found in trusting God...
Knowing He is our hope...our salvation...
and His Kingdom is one of eternal significance.

Let everything we do...whether eating or drinking...all be for the glory of God [all for HIS Kingdom!]

Well, enough preaching.


May I "Count all things loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ as Lord"
May I see the Kingdom of God... as a pearl of great price...a treasure in a field... and sell all I have to take part of it...
May I spend myself in Christ... losing myself, forsaking my own Kingdom for the sake of His.


Whether this be fulfilled in the seemingly "mundane"...overseas... domestically... in family...with friends... " Wherever I am, be all there" {Jim Elliot} ...and be all there with a passion for Christ.

This is a weighty prayer.
And sanctification is a process.
And for that, How I am grateful!

Christ died for those who have no hope, that they might have hope in Him.
Hope to live a life that has meaning... that is rewarding... and is being redeemed.

The End

Have been reading Jonathan Edwards "End for Which God Created the World" essay.

In the introduction he makes distinctions between different sorts of 'ends'.

There are ultimate ends- which in an of themselves bring pleasure to the person seeking them.
Chief end- which is the highest end that all ultimate ends find their connection

Subordinate ends- things which in and of themselves are not pleasure-filling. Rather, they are sought in order to meet another end. For ex: if I go grocery shopping, I am not venturing off for the pure pleasure of doing so, rather my end is to purchase food. And the food is purchased not for its own joy, but that it might satisfy hunger. The acts of going to the grocery store and buying food are both sought to satisfy hunger- which is the ultimate end in this situation.

My point in all of this?
It has gotten me to ponder some of the ultimate/subordinate ends in my own life.
Which ends might be regarded as subordinate...and which ones as ultimate in my life?

When it concerns serving...is the ultimate end the pleasure found in serving for the glory of God? ... or the affirmation it receives. What end is sought? What end brings pleasure in itself?

Is God's glory the chief end of what I do? Or is it my own glory?

When I am criticized, corrected and instructed
When I am encouraged, edified, and complimented...

Is my concern for the glory of my kingdom in all of this? Or of God's?

I dare say it might be the former more than I'd like.
In fact, it's probably the former more than I know.

Which is why...Christ died for sinners. Those who need God, even to worship God... to recognize that He is worthy.
Even to regard God's glory over my own requires looking to Christ.

¹⁴Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, ¹⁵that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life. John 3:14-15

²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

God has taught me so much in the last year. Much of it was pleasant instruction where I found much joy in the learning. Much of it was (also) unpleasant... revealing the character in my heart which needed refining.

I only have a few remaining weeks before I head to Korea.
In them... I hope I am able to spend this time wisely... in the Word...with family...with friends.

All other ground is sinking sand

Still learning to rest.

Still desiring to grow closer to God.

One thing is becoming clear to me- in thinking about what concerns me... I saw a theme.

What if...I'm not a good teacher, what if I fail at friendships, what if I let people down, what if I let God down?... see the theme?

Self.

A good question for me would be: "angela, why is it often about you?"

And Jesus words are the perfect response:

Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me. ²In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? ³And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.
John 14:1-3

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
Psalm 42:5




My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand